The paradigm of spiritual direction: a visit between friends.

One of the influences of the modern helping professions upon Christian spirituality has been to lead contemporaries to think of spiritual direction in terms of a clinical model.   An office, like that of a psychological counselor or therapist, is thought to be the appropriate setting for spiritual direction. The spiritual director is seen as a professional, again like a therapist or teacher, who can be expected to help her or his "client" or "student" because of superior learning, special training, or personal excellence in the field of spirituality. There are indeed some parallels between spiritual director and psychotherapist but I am more concerned about clearly establishing the substantial differences.

When we study the earliest records of spiritual direction I which we find in the Forth Century Apophthegmata, we find that the "even” of spiritual direction took place in the context of a visit between friends. It is true that the "visitor" was typically a younger Christian who held the older or more experienced Christian in high esteem. The "elder" responded in love to the gift of the visit by receiving the visitor with warm hospitality, but without any sense or pretense of superiority.

 The visitor was motivated by a desire to reveal the thoughts and questions of his heart to the senior in the hope that God would use the words and prayers of the elder to purify and enlighten his heart and mind.

On this basis, I practice and teach what is called "spiritual direction" in the form of a visit between friends. The normal place of the visit would be a visiting parlor or some other place where the visiting friend could give the gift of a visit and the visited friend could offer physical and spiritual hospitality. In our day, friends often find it convenient to meet each other in their places of work or even at a restaurant for lunch. Having something to eat or drink together was a regular part of the "spiritual direction session" in the Desert.

For logistic and convenience reason, spiritual direction could take place in the hosts office. In this paradigm, however, the host does not consider the time spent with the visitor as "work" but as the recreative activity of receiving a friend hospitably.

The difference between a spiritual direction visit and any other social visit is the conscious and explicit intention of the participants: they meet to honor God and to seek spiritual growth. With this specific goal in mind, the two do not spend too much time in small talk. After some opening pleasantries about their lives in general, the focus is narrowed to the spiritual life of the visitor.

According to this model, spiritual direction is a sacramental relationship between two Christians, friends and equals, who are seeking spiritual growth together in companionship. Friends are equals, although, as Christians, they hold each other in higher esteem. This equality and mutual esteem remain in tact even though the visit is structured by specific devotional roles. The receiving Christian plays the role of the host and the other plays the role of the visitor. The directee (visitor) asks the director (host) to accompany him or her with loving discernment on the spiritual journey. The host obediently gives this companionship of loving discernment. The director does not trust her/his own power or wisdom, however, but prayerfully relies entirely upon God to act in the spiritual life of the visitor. To avoid the appearance of any superior/inferior relationship or professionalism, let us call the director the “elder" (or the mentor, host, or spiritual friend).  The directee we will refer to as the "younger" (or the seeker or visitor).

The elder in no sense considers herself/himself the "director" of the spiritual life of the younger. The Holy Spirit is the only Spiritual Director. The roles of the elder (host) and younger (visitor) are established, controlled, maintained, and evaluated chiefly on the initiative of the visitor. In this specific kind of counseling, the younger (the visitor) confers upon the elder (the host) an authority that the latter neither has nor pretends to have independently of the visitor. The elder does not trust in any personal superior wisdom. The elder trusts that God will graciously respond to the faith of the younger.

The elder does not accept a position of "superior" in the relationship, but rather one of "obedient servant". The younger confers, and the elder accepts, only the role of sacramental presence and love. The loving presence of the elder is a "sacrament," that is, a visible sign, of the grace of God's loving presence to the younger. The elder dares to offer herself as a sacrament because she believes in the promise of the Lord Jesus: "Where two or three are gathered in my name, there I am in the midst of them." The elder trusts that God will give guidance, grace, and wisdom to the younger by means of, or even in spite of, the limited gifts of the elder. The elder considers her or his ro1e to be that of a conduit, not a source--God being the only Source. By faith the younger draws upon that Divine Source using the elder as a sacramental means.

At no time does the younger relinquish to the elder his or her own responsible judgment. Whenever the younger agrees with any thought presented by the elder, he or she does so because the thought seems right in the younger's own best judgment. The younger never accepts anything on the mere authority of the elder. The words of the elder are always submitted to the judgment of the younger. Spiritual Direction begins with the moral independence of the younger and pursues an end in which the spiritual autonomy of the younger is completely submitted to, inspired, and guided by the Spirit of God.

The central focus and the immediate goal of Spiritual Direction is growth in the life of union with God in Jesus Christ. Data from the physical, emotional, moral, intellectual, and relational life of the younger come under reflection in Spiritual Direction, but they do so only in so far as these experiences express, negate, impede, or improve the person's life of union with God in faith and love through the Spirit of Jesus.

The intellectual goal of Spiritual Direction is transformation of consciousness. We gradually come to think about God, ourselves, other persons, and the whole cosmos as they appear in the light of revelation.  In other words, Spiritual Direction works to bring the practitioner to think of all things as God thinks of them.

The moral goal of Spiritual Direction is the divine gift of perfect love, Agape. No one expects (and never requires!) the attainment of this goal fully in this mortal life, but the exhilarating excitement of the spiritual life lies in the forward progress that is always available at every moment until the last heartbeat! The spiritual seeker in Christ lives in the conviction that "more and better" is always immediately ahead and attainable in this life.  As for his own soul, the elder desires and prays for unceasing growth of love in the heart of the younger.  

The ultimate spiritual goal of Spiritual Direction is the fullness of union with God in Jesus The goal of Spiritual Direction is the same as the goal of Christian life itself: To become ever more completely transformed into the likeness of Christ by the action of the Holy Spirit upon our body, soul, and spirit.

THE IMMEDIATE GOAL OF SPIRITUAL DIRECTION: DISCERNMENT

The grace of God is the original source and means to the goal of Christian life. This divine grace provides the seed and the growth of the gift and virtue of Discernment of Thoughts. The host/elder and the visitor/younger agree from the outset, consciously, intentionally, and prayerfully to seek Discernment of Thoughts as the immediate goal in the relationship of Spiritual Direction.

Discernment is a gift of the Holy Spirit to believers. The gift of discernment enables us to determine by an intuition of the heart what is true and false and what is love and what is not love, according to the criterion of divine truth and love revealed in Jesus Christ.

This gracious "judgment of the heart" can be exact even when the mind is unable to reach conceptual certainty. Scripture refers to this experience as "walking in the spirit", that is, living and acting by the impulse of the Spirit.

In the sharing that takes place in Spiritual Direction, the younger's discernment is enhanced, strengthened, recognized, confirmed-or it is sharpened by being called into question by the silent or spoken discernment of the elder. 

A mature loving elder prays continually for the increase of the gift of discernment of his visiting friend.

- William Wilson

Return to the Four Essentials